Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

A body shaming babygro…ENOUGH!

Last night, when scrolling through Facebook pre bed (as you do) I saw something so screwed up and grotesque that I did a double take.

You might have seen it yourself by now, if not, check out the picture below.

FB_IMG_1459979926803

What the actual Fuck?! I am sorry to swear but seriously, Seriously, WTAF.

What has happened within society to make putting this on a babygro even remotely acceptable? I DON’T GET IT.

As I said on my Facebook page, the worst thing is the number of people that that got past to physically be stocked in a shop.

1) The sad mind that has clearly heard or felt this way so many times they thought it was the norm

2) Their boss or whoever okay’s designs before they’re made up into a sample

3) A buyer for at least one store (I’m saying store because it was in America)

Did anyone stop and question what they were making? What message this would send out? Just to clarify quickly here, I’m talking about the thigh one…The one pretty clearly aimed at the female side of the market.

The owner of the Wry Baby brand that created the babygro in question has been quoted as saying that “they want to make the whole parenting journey as fun as is humanly possible”.

Well slap my thigh and call me Jessy, haven’t you just brightened my whole trek through motherhood by selling this absolute piece of crap.

Just for the record, that isn’t what I think of as fun. I like a giggle- I can even retell my whole hideous birth story for comedic effect now. I regularly make light of my non exisistant bladder contol, the fact that the bulk of my wardrobe is now from Tu at Sainsbury and all manner of crazy shit the kids get up to but (and call me crazy here) body shaming and being so blatantly gender stereotyping is sad, not funny.

 

It is sad because other kids will see that, they’ll ask what it says and then they’ll wonder what it means and who knows how deep that seed will be planted. I don’t want my gorgeous, sensitive, growing girls pondering who hates their thighs and whether they should too. It is hard enough to keep that rubbish out of my own head let alone theirs.

Being a girl, being a woman today is hard. It’s a damn sight easier than it was by all accounts but it’s still no walk in the park. So much gravitas is still placed on how you look as oposed to who you are, what you enjoy, what you’re interests are and what you stand for.

 

As I walked to the doctors the other day I absentmindedly looked down and thought woah, those legs could do with trimming down a bit- a thigh wobble ain’t a great look in a threadbare legging but actually, those very same legs ran a half marathon a few weeks back and they reguarly walk my girls to pre school as well as strutting their stuff down a catwalk last month if you please. And, they can still, on a good day and after a couple of shandys, get behind my head…Lucky old Mr L hey… (this is starting to sound a little weird- almost as if the legs do these little jobs independent of me- which they don’t!)

What I am saying is I am more than the sum of my parts. I am more than my thigh wobble. I am more than a pair of droopy boobs, described by our youngest recently as “very sad and empty” I am way, way more than an out of control pelvic floor.

I am an intelligent, loving, grafting mother who is raising her daughters to be all that and more and the mums that I know are doing the same with their girls AND BOYS. So I will carry on with my running and exercising- to keep my body and mind happy and healthy not narrow and thin which seems to be the way Wry Baby rolls.

Happily, through the day the number of people that have commented on this image makes me think that the pendulum might just be starting to swing the other way again with women appreciating their bodies for their strengths and treating themselves with more love and kindness. If we treat ourselves and talk to ourselves with the same compassion that we do to our children that can only be a good thing- for them and for us.

Night night all.

Sweet Dreams.

 

XxxX

 

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How I got #ProudinmyBikini

Since I posted my #proudinmybikini post earlier this week I have had so many nice comments on Facebook and Twitter and on the post itself. It has been really touching to read friends and strangers saying that kind things and they are sticking.

Looking at the pictures which incidentally, were taken after a long day at work whilst the girls jumped on my sisters sofa shouting ‘why are you nudey rudey Muma?!’ I genuinely don’t mind them.

MY FAVE!! Maryan Mehlhorn Nautical Bikini

MY FAVE!!
Maryan Mehlhorn Nautical Bikini

Obviously my sister isn’t challenging David Bailey for a job (sorry sis!) but I am no longer upset by what I see before me- WOO HOO!! Progress.

Clearly I am no longer my 17 year old self with a pair of boobs to die for and a pretty cute little figure if I do say so myself (hindsight is 20/20 hey!!! Youth is absolutely wasted on the young!)

I’m not even my 27 year old, stretch mark free self.

Nope, I am a 34 year old mum of 2 toddlers that is frequently shattered and struggling to work a 3 day week, plan an incredible Christmas event, remember the shopping and the washing and the cleaning and so on and so on.
Obviously in the main I don’t manage, my to do list never ends, I am constantly apologising for the state of the house and I have no clue how we would manage without my mum doing our ironing (amazing!) and having the girls from time to time.

But everything is a choice and a trade off- I have yet to meet the woman that has it all. The things that I am choosing to spend my time and energy on are the things that I know make a difference to my mind and body so, here’s what helped me reclaim my Mojo…

1) Diet
Not dieting- In January I started a 12 week Fit ‘n’ Slim programme with Melissa from Fresh Start Health and Jonathan from JGF Fitness.
It was a brilliant programme that helped me to become more mindful about what I eat and why and 3 months after finishing I am still having lemon and ginger and against all the odds my juicer is still getting used daily for my super green smoothie.
1/2 Cucumber
2 sticks celery
2 handfuls spinach
juice of one lime
1/2 an avocado

Juice the cucumber, celery and spinach, add in the juice of the lime and then chop up the avocado and blend together (over ice if you’re posh!)

Genuinely delicious

Genuinely delicious

2) Exercise
My brilliant and very clever friend Jo invited me to try some crazy outdoor circuits class. OUTSIDE. IN FEBRUARY…First class was free plus it was a week after I’d asked her to come running with me so I couldn’t say no!
I LOVE IT. Best fitness class ever! It is hard, it is sometimes wet and cold and it is 100% guaranteed to get me out of any mood I am in.
I feel healthier, I am definitely fitter and it is certainly good for the serotonin levels.

One day I'll get to the top of the bar!!

One day I’ll get to the top of the bar!!

3) Me Time
Me time means different things to different people but for me it usually involves a seriously deep bath, a stretch mark smoothing wrap and a copy of RED Magazine or Good Housekeeping (which is ironic to say the least!)
I know that some people are going to think that using the wraps is not in keeping with the #proudinmybikini idea but that’s ok because it’s my body and my choice. I’m not using these #crazywraps because anyone else has made me feel bad about the way I look, I am using them because they compliment what I am doing already and have seriously helped me feel happier with the skin look and tone of my ‘mum tum’.
wrap right image

4) Mindset
I have written so many times before that I am an all or nothing character. I tend to really go for something, fall by the way side, thing I’m a failure and knock it on the head but I decided this year (and last) that I was going to try to be kinder to myself, to do what I could ad not beat myself up about the rest. Seven months in and I think that I can, more often than not, tick that box. I am caring less about what others, aside from those that really matter, think and am just trying to be OK.
choose happiness

5) Support
The #proudinmybikini campaign started by Honest Mum, the support of Tommy Tight Pants (yep, that’s what he calls himself!!) of Melissa and Jon and of my friends and family and the lovely Wrap Right Girls has kept me on the straight and narrow.
I am doing this for me and for my girls and, in the words of the song…It’s feeling Good!

Have a Seriously Souper Douper Weekend!

Loads of Love,

Muma.

XxxX

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This Summer I will mainly be #ProudinmyBikini

Last month a hashtag was doing the rounds on Facebook and Twitter set up by the blogging beauty that is Vicki from Honest Mum.

Now, I had always considered her type of honest and mine to be poles apart, her children are immaculate, her hair is frankly immense  (in the best possible way) and her writing, blogging and film making experience are the stuff my dreams are made of.
In short, if this were school she would definitely have rolled with the cool kids. I felt- through absolutely no fault of hers, that she was out of my league- a genuine successful grown up whilst I, approaching 35, am still struggling to figure most of this stuff out.

One evening, home alone, I was scanning my twitter feed and came across Vicki’s original #proudinmybikini post.
She was literally laying herself bare (short of a gorgeous red bikini) and saying this is me, I’m a mum of 2 and I’m proud to be me in my bikini.

#proudinmybikini

Look at that hair!!!
Gorgeous.

In the post (which as now been seen by over 70,000) Vicki was asking for other mums to share their bikini pics.

Wow- didn’t that redress the balance.

Isn’t it ridiculous that it should even be a big deal…but it was and it is because it seems that we women are always so keen to imagine that other people are doing so much better than we are…

Better mums- because they’re working or not working or combining the two.
Better wives- because they don’t burn water or whatever
Better species because…We imagine…that beneath their jeans they don’t have the bit of belly that gets tucked into their knickers (which no doubt match with their bra- which they no doubt peel off each night before a mammoth session with the husband!)

It is a fantasy fed by stupid magazines and also by social media.

Women are too fat or too thin, too vain or too unkempt.

We’ve lost our sense of perspective and also of giving ourselves and others a break.

This week The Sun posted what I’ll loosely refer to as ‘an article’ on their social media entitled “17 people that look worse in a bikini than you do.”
How cruel- who made them or indeed any of us judge and jury?

I love #proudinmybikini. It is an amazing look behind the curtain into the fact that we are all normal people.
No one is perfect and no one is without their own hang ups and flaws and, by sharing them we become a little bit more real and help everyone else breathe a little easier.

Prior to this campaign the last time I’d properly worn a bikini was over  years ago on our fabulous baby moon in Marrakesh. Pregnant bikini
I absolutely love the picture- check out how happy I am- over the moon to be carrying our precious daughter (didn’t know that she was a she at the time) and loving the relaxing sunny break with my husband.

Since then I’ve had 2 beautiful baby girls and the boobs and bump have headed somewhat south.
I’d like to say that the change in my body didn’t affect me but, in the spirit of being honest I’ve got to say that after a particularly nasty labour and a tricky recovery my confidence was well knocked, the stomach stretched and sagged and my fitness and body confidence plummeted. It has  taken quite a lot for me not to well up when I saw myself undressed. Incredibly self indulgent I know- but there it is.
Lots of little things have helped me get my mojo back but one of the most significant has definitely been this campaign.
Following on from the tweets UKSwimwear sent me a couple of the mums who took part in the campaign some bikinis to review and I was lucky enough to be one of them. They are absolutely gorgeous- I LOVE THEM.
I can not wait to wear them in the paddling pool, at the swimming pool and finally, on our holiday in Tuscany.
They are my way of sending a messsage to my girls that say:

We are more than the way we look
Be kind to your body- it is the only place you have to live.
Your spirit and kindness are visible whatever you are wearing and whatever your size
Don’t judge other people (at least not on appearances)
Don’t waste your energy on people that are judging you and…importantly
Nautical is always, always on trend!

I’ve written plenty of times about promoting a positive body image for my daughters but actions speak louder than words so here goes…

Channelling the 1950's vibe.

Channelling the 1950’s vibe.

MY FAVE!! Maryan Mehlhorn Nautical Bikini

MY FAVE!!
Maryan Mehlhorn Nautical Bikini

To me, bring Proud in your Bikini this summer is more than the act of wearing a bikini it is the decision to like yourself a bit more whatever you are wearing and to embrace the idea of kindness and support for yourself and others.

I hope that this post makes you breath a little easier.

Happy Summer Everyone!

Loads of love,

Muma.

XxxX

love-your-body-and-be-healthy

I am linking up with Honest Mums #BrilliantBlogPosts you can click the link to see what other bloggers have been up to this week!

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

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Got any ID love?!

Can you believe that we are one week away from March?!?

Whoa there univimageerse, let’s slow this bad-boy down shall we?!
Oh well, spring is soon to be springing which means longer evenings, warmer weather and the arrival of my amazing niece or nephew. Hooray!

So, how is 2015 shaping up so far; well all things considered been a pretty great start to 2015 for family Leary.
I’ve got a new job, Mr L has celebrated a year in the post that brought him home to us, I’ve lost some weight and, more importantly I have so far maintained my momentum in the keeping active stakes so, with nearly 2 month’s done 2015 is looking bright.

I think though, that one of THE single, most lovely experiences of the year in terms of self-indulgent me time, happened a couple of weeks back; my last child free day before beginning my new job.

 

I literally did (almost) nothing all day and it felt pretty bloody amazing.
I put the duvet on the sofa made myself some tea and toast (which I consumed mindfully…) watched the tennis and then, hopped in the car and went for the single most amazing facial I have ever had.

Now, the reasons that it was so brilliant could be partly down to the fact that it is rare for me to have the opportunity to have such a treat and, when the hail is lashing against the windows who wouldn’t want to be snuggled up being pampered, but I’m pretty sure it went deeper than that.

My good friend Laura recommended Health and Beauty by Charlene Locke and I wasn’t disappointed.
I arrived at Charlene’s home in Parkgate armed with tracksuit bottoms and bed socks because I HATE feeling cold and have, all too frequently, had a spa treatment spoilt wondering whether asking for yet another blanket would either come across as rude or would crush my lungs due to the number of additional towels being piled on top of me.
How blissful then that Charlene’s bed had an electric blanket, actual duvet and a towel. Amazing. My brain was immediately able to get rid of that little worry and so was free to empty itself completely- another rarity.

Secondly, Charlene is a glowing and gorgeous example of her products and the facials she administers. I always feel more hopeful when met by someone that you’d love to look like as opposed to someone whose fingers smell of nicotine and whose make-up routine is out of the 1980’s…true story people; happened in Coventry last year. That was 30 minutes I’ll never get back. URGH.

Charlene asked about my current beauty regime- a very short conversation. Basically at the moment I am cleansing with baby wipes and scraping out the last of the MAC foundation with a cotton bud whilst I await my first pay cheque. It’s not a winning formula and, since I am trying reeducate myself about healthy mind, healthy body it makes sense to try to translate this into my loosely termed “beauty regime” and dipping my toe in the water with a treatment is the ideal way to start don’t you think?!

Having had a good look at my skin Charlene decided that a Belantur soft peel was the one for me, a 90 minute treatment starting with a back and neck massage- pure bliss! (Belantur is a Spanish skincare company new to the UK they have an amazing range of products to suit all skin types)

Charlene started experimenting with her own products when her daughter was born and now incorporates them into many of her treatments- she used the coconut and frangipani soufflé for my back massage and it smelt and felt amazing.

As I drifted off to sleep I am informed that Charlene then cleansed, moisturised peeled, pressured point massaged and generally gave my skin some serious TLC.
Of course, I was so relaxed and fast asleep it is possible that she slunk next door and watched This Morning but, judging from my “luminous glow”, I don’t think that was the case!

An unexpected treat was the hand and arm massage which gently brought me back to life as the mask was working its magic. Again this was using Charlene’s own products- specifically the neroli & lavender hand cream which left my haggard old hands much softer.

The final touch was removing the mask and moisturising with “fitoaloe” a nourishing and hydrating cream rich in hylauronic acid which is apparently an “active ingredient and a MUST for keeping your skin dewy and fine lines at bay”.

I left almost 2 hours after I’d arrived walking on air and feeling as though I’d slept for a week.

Testament to the treatment is the fact that, on the way home I popped into Co-op for a bottle of red and I WAS ONLY ID’ED!!!

Sure, he might have been on training, sure they say ‘if you look under 25’ and all that but even that means I’ve shaved off almost a decade; Ten Years Younger eat your heart out!

image
With Mothers Day on the horizon surely this has got to be on the Wish list? She does vouchers you know!

Love

Muma.

PS- Charlene gave me this treatment for the purposes of this review but- as ever, all views, words and naps had are my own.

PPS- If you want to buy a voucher or book in with Charlene you can call or email her;

07973 264415

charlenelocke.sa@gmail.com

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Mindfulness

Tonight, possibly as you are reading this, I’m going to session 6 of the fit and trim programme I’ve been taking part in since mid January.
It’s a fantastic idea from Melissa at Fresh Start Health and Jonathan her brother who is a fab personal trainer .
Basically, it is all about mindfulness and re-educating yourself about what you eat, why you eat, how you choose to exercise and look after yourself from the inside out.
We have had menu plans, a week of juicing and 2 weekly group sessions where we run, chat and the following day do circuits. It is a holistic approach which I think is really important.
Blue Sky wallpaper
It isn’t about being perfect or never having a biscuit again, it is just about trying to be a little bit more mindful.
Last night I skipped Commando X fit which is an amazing class I’ve been doing along side the fit and trim sessions, check out what we get up to on the video!!
I love it.
It’s outside, it’s hard, it’s usually cold but it is always different and it gives me a real buzz.
I didn’t skip it because I couldn’t be bothered, I made a choice to spend the evening with my babies and my husband.
I had the time to bathe them (Not Mr L-that would be weird!)
We cuddled on the sofa in front of Abney and Teal, I read them 2 books and tucked them in to their beds.
Check out the daddy's girl!  What a look of love.

Check out the daddy’s girl!
What a look of love.

Then, after that, I had dinner and chilled with him in doors and I enjoyed it all because it was a choice, not a cop out.
I felt family time took precedence last night; usually I have to race out of the door when Mr L gets home to get to the class in time and leave the girls lips quivering as I don the trainers and make a mad dash .
Mindfulness in practise people; I think this fit and trim is really making a difference.
Bring on the second half. I am feeling motivated!
Happy Chinese New Year!
If you’re having a takeaway; ENJOY!
Muma.
XxxX
PS- Here are the links to the classes in case you want to know more:
Fit and Trim: http://fresh-start-health.co.uk/fit-n-slim-challenge

JGF Fitness:  http://www.jgffitness.co.uk

Commando X Fit: http://www.commandoxfitengland.co.uk/

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Still on the band wagon??

Evening All.

Happy January! How are you getting on with your New Years Resolutions?!
Still on the wagon?
Well done if you are by the way- by this time next week over 80% of us will have gibbed off our good intentions and come New Years Eve 2015 only 8% of us will have any rights to wear the (hopefully slightly loser) smug pants.
That’s a pretty high failure rate!!

So far I’ve been feeling pretty motivated, few bumps and bruises from falling off the wagon and filling my face with cake at the little littles birthday party- yep, totally made my own cake (just call me supermom!) but I am trying.

Before you ask, no, I am not morbidly obese. I am usually able to get an outfit that looks alright (with the support of some spanx) for a special occasion but for me it’s more about the inside story if you know what I mean. I’m want to give myself the best chance of living a long and healthy life.

This year I am turning 35- biblically speaking that is middle age dudes and, since my daddy passed away totally unexpectedly from a heart attack aged 37 I don’t think that there’s a better time for me to get my health and wellbeing in check. I don’t want to leave my babies with the same emotional weirdness that I have; I’d far rather stick around for the ‘Goooooood Mum, You are sooooooo embarrassing’ statements.
Someone remind me of this when I’m lamenting the teenage phase! It’s no more than I deserve- I was a hideous teen.

So, as of yesterday I am all about the Fresh Start Health 12 week programme; Fit n Slim.
It is early days- yesterday was the initial weigh in but, I am feeling positive so far.
There’s 8 of us in the group all taking part with our own motivations and goals so I am hoping that we’ll be able to support each other when times get tough.

The programme is totally holistic. There is a fitness programme (a running session and a circuit class each week) as well as an hour each week discussing all of the other stuff that goes with the way we feel about our bodies.
I have never heard of a class that deals with the whole person and I like it. At £195 for the 12 weeks you’re going to want to see some results but I think that if we all follow the advise and suggested meal plans we should do…

So far the message is rather than denying yourself the things you like try to add in more things that you know to be good for you so, this week I have been adding in loads of water and veg. I am usually dreadful at veg…brilliant at chocolate, dreadful at veg!

There have been one or two awkward points so far; namely being waved at and called by name when I parked up outside the chippy; ‘Usual Tanya?’ To be fair, it was the only free space and the gym is on the same road.
The second is obviously tena lady and botty burp related! Week two will be all about the pelvic floor I hope! 😉

Watch this space for my progress dudes.

Have you made any New Years Resolutions? My news feed is rammed with health and fitness so I’m guessing I’m not the only one- how are you doing so far?

Happy Weekend Lovelies.

Muma.

XxxxX

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RIP Robin Williams. An Illness, Not a choice.

When I woke up this morning and heard the dreadfully sad news about Robin Williams death I felt I had to republish this post.

Robin Williams, comic genius, acting god and all round good guy had apparently succumbed to one of the darkest illnesses of all. Absolute proof that anyone can be struck by anything regardless of sex, race, age or anything else you’d care to list.

Robin Williams, Mrs Doubtfire, The incredible Patch Adams and of course Aladdin’s brilliant Genie but it seems that wishing himself well didn’t work.aladdin_genie

What a sad, sad loss.

The statistics on depression, mental health and suicide are frankly astounding and worth reminding ourselves of;

suicide inforgraph

There is an excellent campaign called Time To Change which has loads of advice, support and information on how you can help someone you know if you even have an inkling that all is not well.

Below is my post of some months back which is an insight into how it can feel…  Read the rest of this entry »

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We’re Racing For Life…Jog on Cancer

Hi again All!

I hope this post finds you well and happy? I am- very happy in fact, I have received an email from the wonderful people at Aqua Pura who read my blog about last years Race for Life and wondered if I’d like to be a Race for Life Champion. You know me, usually I’d shun the lime light but, when offered a bottle of water, a free tee-shirt and a £50 donation to our Just Giving Page I caved in.

We love the Race for Life and this year, Aqua Pura are supporting the thousands of women that are getting involved to give cancer the heave-ho. They sent me a big old goodie box which, sadly, arrived on the Monday following the race but- we all need to hydrate don’t we so it hasn’t been wasted. photo (52)

 

Hands up if you’re doing a Race for Life this year.
Hands up if you’re doing it for somebody specific.
Someone you loved and lost,
Someone you love that is fighting or
someone you love that has fought and won.

This weekend, all the birds in my brood got  together to complete the Birkenhead Park Race for Life in order to give humongous thanks for the successful cancer treatment of the oldest and youngest of us.

Have you any idea how tough it is to get 8 females looking the same way at the same time?! Impossible!

Have you any idea how tough it is to get 8 females looking the same way at the same time?! Impossible!

 

Now, the race for life isn’t a massive physical challenge, it’s not a triathlon or a marathon or even a 10km but it is something that anyone can do. It is achievable for almost everyone (with a vagina!)
It allows families to do something together. To show solidarity and to be a part of something amazing and emotional.
I am so pleased to discover that the funds raised go towards research for all the 200 types of cancer. They all need beating as much as each other.

Cancer is utterly indiscriminate isn’t it. An absolute blight on people’s lives. It changes people physically, mentally and emotionally.
Forever.
It thieves futures, it prevents people becoming parents and it is an all round horrid, horrid disease which needs to be understood and stamped out as soon as possible.

This isn’t news though.

What I suppose could be classed as news though is the relationships it helps form, the barriers it breaks down and the close bonds that are forged as a result.

That’s what I am focusing on this weekend.
Last year, my baby cousin Bex was diagnosed with breast cancer.
On Valentines day.
Now, I know there’s no ‘good’ day for news like this but really? When you’re 25, totally beautiful inside and out and looking forward to a night out with your boyfriend, Valentines day is a bit of a bummer don’t you think?

The news of Beckys cancer rocked the family, much like my mums did a few years before. She was a baby, just back from travelling and embarking on her teacher training.
She underwent surgery, lost her hair to chemo (and totally rocked a number 1 btw) and astounded me with her attitude and spirit throughout.
During this period, something unexpected happened; The group of cousins- spread across the globe started sharing Facebook messages more frequently.

We started texting and calling each other.

We started to be a bit more open about saying that we loved each other.

Without Becky’s cancer, I am pretty sure that wouldn’t have happened. Not for any reason, just life. Everyday life keeping people busy.
I am pretty sure that we wouldn’t all have got together this weekend, had a meal for 12 including Aunties, cousins, partners, husbands and kids.
We wouldn’t have laughed and drank and cried and hugged.
We’d always have been family but we would have been slightly less close.

Without the big C, we wouldn’t know each other so well and my cousins would very likely be a little less involved in the lives of my babies so, weirdly, I’d like to say Thank you cancer.
Thank you for helping my family develop closer, stronger bonds. Thank you for reminding us not to take anyone or anything for granted, to show that we care for people whilst they are here.

So, thanks for that cancer but enough now. Job done, you can DO ONE.
GET LOST.
JOG ON.

We’ve got memories to make and you’re not invited.

This wasn't quite the plan!!

This wasn’t quite the plan!!

Family- even if you not here this weekend please accept this blog post as evidence that I love you all. I would like to see more of you all and you are precious to me.
Friends, ditto.

Happy Weekend Everyone.

Love each other.

Love

Muma.

XxxX

 

PS- If you want to sling some pennies our way it would be very welcome…https://www.justgiving.com/corbett-girls/

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#Likeagirl ? Damn Right I am.

This brilliant video is currently doing the rounds on YouTube, Facebook, twitter, popular Muma blogs (!) and everywhere else at the moment. Check it out if you haven’t already. I love it.

Obviously, the aim is to address the phrase “like a girl”, we’ve all heard it; you know,
You throw like a girl
You hit like a girl
You run like a girl.

It’s in the same vein as
“you’re so gay” or
“you’re such a spaz”.

Basically, they’re not shorthand for “you’re awesome!”
It’s shorthand for you’re a little bit rubbish.
You’re substandard, you are nowhere near as good as a boy.

Oh shut up.

I am so so, so so bored of this.
I have written about this very subject previously on this very blog. Here infact.

I don’t want to be a cheerleader for women. I don’t want to feel the need.

I simply want everyone to be considered on the same level.

But to do this I do worry that we going to need to have job interviews in a sort of weird Blind Date kind of way, with Stephen Hawking type voice synthesisers and those blow up sumo suits so that everyone has the same chance of getting the job they want, going to the uni they want, being selected for the teams they want?!
I’d rather just get a nice two piece, go in there, be the best candidate and get the job on my merits thanks.

The phrase “like a girl” suggests that blokes do everything better.

RUBBISH!!
Absolute, Really Annoying, Rubbish
.

Are we suggesting that all blokes are better than all women at all things?!

I really hope not because I have plenty of examples of blokes doing things really badly, or doing really stupid things or just being slightly less good at something than a girl.

Remember this for example?!

Remember this for example?!

But that’s not even the thing.

I don’t want it to be about which sex is better at what.
I want people, I want my children, to be able be who they are, do what they fancy and not feel like they need to fit into a box.

So, for my babies especially, here’s my guidance for life and, guess what- if you were called Josh or Jack or Henry or Michael; the advice would be exactly the same (except for the last part!)

Give it a go- what’s the worst that could happen.

Don’t be afraid to fail- it’s just finding a way that didn’t work before you find a way that does.

Be kind- you have no idea what others have been through.

Be honest- it’ll help you sleep at night.

Be friendly- because; why wouldn’t you?!

Do something that makes you happy- life’s too short not to.

Oh, and if you ever hear someone say that you do something like a girl: be proud.

To me, being a girl means being pretty flipping marvellous, Look…

Run like a girl:

I'll give it a try.

I’ll give it a try.

Face bullies like a girl:

I hope I'd have the strength of character

I hope I’d have the strength of character

Hit like a girl:

Nichola Adams, GB boxer

I wish I could!

Care like a girl:

Mother Teresa

An absolute inspiration.

Kick like a girl:

Arsenal ladies team

I don’t have the coordination.

Make money like a girl:

JK Rowling

One day…one day…

Swim like a girl:

Rebecca Addlington

Your Auntie is nearly as good!

Forgive like a girl:

Totally humbled by this amazing lady.

Totally humbled by this amazing lady.

Not too shabby for the fairer sex hey?!

Muma.

XxxX

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Why are women so weird?

This evening I have been running.
By running, I clearly mean breathing out of my arse and sweating like a pig whilst dragging myself after Mr L who offers words of encouragement whilst I swear under my breath and ask myself why I am doing it!
It is the same almost every time. Sometimes I get the legendary runners high but, I’ll be honest, it’s not a given.
When I got home I was so red and out of breath I couldn’t talk but, now I’ve inhaled a pizza and three chocolate digestives I’m almost feeling human again.

So, as I delicately nibbled at the biscuits, I was leafing through Facebook and saw one of my friends was talking about the good old self-worth/body image fat/fit/thin debate and I thought you are SO right. What the fuck IS this?

Why is it that beautiful, intelligent, funny, articulate, sexy, interesting, sassy women equate their size and their body shape with the way that they feel. It is weird. AND it is sad.

I posted here about how I want my children to feel about themselves and their bodies, it certainly isn’t the way I feel about mine at the moment.

I thought back to yoga on Monday night. It was quite literally the hardest thing I have ever done. Ever. Including labour and after one of them I had a 3 pint blood transfusion.
Because it was hot yoga (If you haven’t been, go. It is awesome but I realise that the previous sentence may make you doubt my sincerity!) I wore a crop top and, as I was flailing about like an upside down tortoise I caught sight of myself and the teacher in the mirror and I was genuinely really upset at what I saw.
How shallow is that?
Instead of thinking;

  • YEY me. You totally held that pose for around 4 seconds this week.
  • YEY me. You could be sitting at home right now.
  • YEY me. You are getting stronger every week.

I was thinking why the fuck don’t I look like her??

Well, let’s think shall we,

  • This is her job.
  • This her life style and she is hugely passionate and committed.
  • She almost definitely does not eat pizza and chocolate for dinner.
  • (And two mars bars as a little lunch time treat)
  • She hasn’t had 2 children in quick succession and as a result is unlikely to have had a second arse hole ripped for her preventing any meaningful exercise for some time.

I think there is a genuine need for women to rewire their brains. To think of all the things that their bodies DO do.
To think of themselves as more than the shell that they reside in. Basically we need to become Sikh- check this out- it’s an oldie but a goodie;

Sikh Woman Teaches Reddit A Lesson in Tolerance

A Sikh woman’s classy, thoughtful response to a mean-spirited photo of her posted on Reddit has not only warmed the hearts of people around the globe, it has even forced the man who posted the photo to look at his actions and repent.
The original photo posted of Kaur, with the caption “I’m not quite sure what to conclude from this”

sikh womans idea of body image

Kaur’s response:

Hey, guys. This is Balpreet Kaur, the girl from the picture. I actually didn’t know about this until one of my friends told on facebook. If the OP wanted a picture, they could have just asked and I could have smiled 🙂 However, I’m not embarrased or even humiliated by the attention [negative and positve] that this picture is getting because, it’s who I am. Yes, I’m a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women. However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body – it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will. Just as a child doesn’t reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying ‘mine, mine’ and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating a seperateness between ourselves and the divinity within us. By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn’t important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. 🙂 So, if anyone sees me at OSU, please come up and say hello. I appreciate all of the comments here, both positive and less positive because I’ve gotten a better understanding of myself and others from this. Also, the yoga pants are quite comfortable and the Better Together tshirt is actually from Interfaith Youth Core, an organization that focuses on storytelling and engagement between different faiths. 🙂 I hope this explains everything a bit more, and I apologize for causing such confusion and uttering anything that hurt anyone.

That story was published on Mashable in 2012 but it will be incredible forever.
I wish I had a bit of that ladies acceptance. It is incredible. She must have so much space in her brain for important stuff since she filtered out all the rubbish about wrinkles, saggy tummies and cellulite. No bloody wonder she’s got the headspace for a neuroscience and psychology degree!

So, I will carry on running.
And I will carry on avoiding the magazines that remind us every week that we’re not quite up to scratch.
And I will continue to go to yoga.
And I’ll always accept a biscuit or two… Because I actually AM more than the way I look and so are you.

Night.

XxxX

positive body image,

 

 

I am linking up this particularly angry, sweary post with Brilliant Blog Post by Vicky…I hope she doesn’t mind!! You can check out some other BBP’s by clicking the link below.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

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