Today has, pretty much been a perfect day.
It began when our littlest stroked my cheek and told me it was morning. She had already clambered into our bed at around six so the fact that she’d gone back to sleep at all was very welcome. 7.07 is a far more acceptable wake up call!
We had a cuddle and read “We’re all going on a bear hunt” followed by a book about farm animals followed by “We’re all going on a bear hunt” again by which time we were joined by the big little. All very sociable and civilised. We padded downstairs for breakfast using ‘quiet moutheses’ to talk as daddy had a work do last night 😉
Normally, Saturday is swimming day but, this week is a pretty big deal in Leary land…The girls have their first big ballet performance so today was the final practise.
I duly fashioned 2 scraggy buns out of their rediculous bedheads, decanted them into their leotards and balerros and whisked them off to the local hall for a rendition of “Me and my teddy bear” followed by “12345”.
Now, at last week’s practise the littlest got stage fright, pee’d in her leotard and promptly fell over, on stage due to the tinkle on her tapshoes. My heart broke for her but it was hard to verbalise that as I was simultaneously choking on my laughter.
Today, they were both perfect. The whole class were. My face ached from smiling, my eyes pricked with tears of joy and pride and I knew that I would treasure that image of my babies on stage yelling about their teddies forever.
Later on, in a rare example of spontinaety I headed over to Liverpool for a look around the shops. Since discovering that gift cards have an expiry date my Christmas vouchers have been burning a hole in my pocket so, I hot footed it to Liverpool 1 and my spiritual home of John Lewis.
In the homeware section I was met with a display of Cornishware pottery which stopped me in my tracks. I was transported back to my childhood, to Earl Grey tea and Lemon cake, to Ludlow and my Grandma’s kitchen with fond memories of baking and sewing and spending time with my cousins because when all’s said and done, the battle of wills about not washing up or putting elbows on the table all fade and become rose tinted or at least sepia toned!
It made me think of an event that my friends are hosting in a few weeks called Memories Matter. An amazing event to raise much needed funds into research of dementia and Alzheimers. In her latter years my Grandma suffered with the disease and to say it is cruel is a vast, vast understatement and anything we can do to gain a greater understanding is so important.
Memories are like a comfort blanket, a way back home when you’re all at sea. They ground you and are a blue print for the way you do, or don’t want to do things going forwards. Memories really do matter.
For that to be taken from you, for only confusing fragments to remain so you are left feeling that the word you are searching for, or that holiday you went on or the child you raised are somehow beyond a veil, an opaque curtain that you can’t reach behind is devastating. For the sufferer and those watching the illness take hold.
There’s no telling which memories will mean the most to our girls as they grow up. It may not always the big gestures or the expensive holidays and trips that take poll position in people’s minds and that’s okay, in fact that’s pretty perfect. Hopefully, some of our chaotic, mostly mundane but occasionally exciting life is creating memories that our girls will treasure for a lifetime.
Perhaps when I’m long gone, they’ll catch a wiff of my perfume and recall our mad morning routines or hear James or The Ramones on the radio and think back to dancing in the kitchen with their daddy and I. Maybe they’ll hear a smoke alarm and think of our family dinners!
This blog is a tiny way for me to record some of the most significant milestones of Leary Life. And, hopefully, if the time ever comes, it will act for my girls as their own comfort blanket so that they will know that they are loved beyond measure whether I can tell them or not.
Happy Mothers Day my darling girls.
You have given me the huge honour of calling myself your mum. I love you both until the seas run dry; and that will never happen.
PS- If you’d like to know more about Memories Matter, search for it on Facebook. It is in Paradox on 20th March but tickets are very limited.