I think it’s safe to say that I am writing this blog seething.
I haven’t calmed down, I haven’t put things in perspective and I am miles away from seeing the funny side.
Safe to say this is a knee jerk post!
What I should have been writing about now, is the amazing spectacle that is Disney on Ice.
I should have been putting my opinions on Disney princesses (and the fact that every single character it has ever created is now whored out to the merchandising masses and are literally impossible to ignore) to one side and been sharing my video footage and pictures but that will have to wait.
For now all I have to say is my kids are dicks.
This afternoon after an amazing show at the Echo Arena, Liverpool, both girls made an absolute wholly show of me. They wouldn’t hold hands with me or my mum, they wouldn’t walk, they lost the ability to speak but perfected the art of wailing and screaming. What a sheer, unadulterated delight.
They lay on the actual pavement whilst a trillion Anna’s, Elsa’s Belle’s (there’s the merchandise whoring I mentioned!) and a random Robin Hood filed passed swinging arms with their parents as if they were from the bloody von trappe family and my two were from Poltagist.
Now, I appreciate that this sounds like an exaggeration but it isn’t.
There are people at home tonight talking about us and thanking their lucky stars that their kids aren’t like mine. Well, careful people, pride comes before a fall and all that!
They screamed, cried wailed and generally made it their business to completely fuck me off.
Well done ladies, it worked.
A particular low point was having to carry the little little under my arm like a plank of wood whilst dragging the other by the wrist whilst simultaneously ignoring the smug/pitying/shall I call the NSPCC stares.
So; tell me please- what am I doing wrong and what the hell would you have done in that situation?!
This is not rhetorical. I need suggestions; I’m googling reward charts and self medicating with trash telly and wine.
As a footnote and to make myself feel marginally better about things, they were pretty good during the performance and, I will blog about this separately, the show was first class.
Whatever my thoughts on the whole disney money machine, they certainly know how to put on a show and I would recommend it in a heart beat.
I have never been one that fancied Disney World but on the back of today I am seriously tempted…We just need someone to have the girls 😉
Happy International Happiness Day!