Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

Disney on Ice (and kids that are dicks)

on March 20, 2015

I think it’s safe to say that I am writing this blog seething. 
I haven’t calmed down, I haven’t put things in perspective and I am miles away from seeing the funny side. 
Safe to say this is a knee jerk post!

What I should have been writing about now, is the amazing spectacle that is Disney on Ice. 
I should have been putting my opinions on Disney princesses (and the fact that every single character it has ever created is now whored out to the merchandising masses and are literally impossible to ignore)  to one side and been sharing my video footage and pictures but that will have to wait.

For now all I have to say is my kids are dicks. 
This afternoon after an amazing show at the Echo Arena, Liverpool, both girls made an absolute wholly show of me. They wouldn’t hold hands with me or my mum, they wouldn’t walk, they lost the ability to speak but perfected the art of wailing and screaming. What a sheer, unadulterated delight. 
They lay on the actual pavement whilst a trillion Anna’s, Elsa’s  Belle’s (there’s the merchandise whoring I mentioned!) and a random Robin Hood filed passed swinging arms with their parents as if they were from the bloody von trappe family and my two were from Poltagist.

Now, I appreciate that this sounds like an exaggeration but it isn’t. 
There are people at home tonight talking about us and thanking their lucky stars that their kids aren’t like mine. Well, careful people, pride comes before a fall and all that! 

They screamed, cried wailed and generally made it their business to completely fuck me off.

Well done ladies, it worked.

A particular low point was having to carry the little little under my arm like a plank of wood whilst dragging the other by the wrist whilst simultaneously ignoring the smug/pitying/shall I call the NSPCC stares. 

So; tell me please- what am I doing wrong and what the hell would you have done in that situation?!

This is not rhetorical. I need suggestions; I’m googling reward charts and self medicating with trash telly and wine. 

As a footnote and to make myself feel marginally better about things, they were pretty good during the performance and, I will blog about this separately, the show was first class. 

Whatever my thoughts on the whole disney money machine, they certainly know how to put on a show and I would recommend it in a heart beat. 

I have never been one that fancied Disney World but on the back of today I am seriously tempted…We just need someone to have the girls 😉

Happy International Happiness Day! 




8 responses to “Disney on Ice (and kids that are dicks)

  1. Oh Dear Lord. I have been there and send my full sympathy! I know it doesn’t help matters but I bet many other parents were looking at you and thinking that was them yesterday, last week, whenever, as from what I can see it happens to us all! Hmm not sure what to suggest to ease it though! Put it down to an off day and have more wine? I’m having a large glass over here… Xxx

    • Mumaleary says:

      Thanks Julia, yeah, we all do have off days don’t we, tomorrow is another day!
      The preceding 10 hours had been so lovely that I think I was caught off guard!!

  2. Ha ha I totally feel this. NIGHTMARE!!!

  3. […] Disney on Ice (and kids that are dicks) Mar […]

  4. Jo says:

    I read a great blog post yesterday. If was called something like- to the woman in the red coat- she feels your pain!! You’re not the only one! Google it if you can!

  5. Mine are like this more times than I care to remember. I recently went to the park and only got home as a friend had a pram I could strap my nearly 5 year old in to get her home whilst we carried the baby and other screaming two year olds home. That day I decided i shoudl be working full time not part!

  6. Valarie Carter says:

    well If I had been there, with my now 17 year old, 14 year old and one of twelve – I would have thrown you a “dont worry it will not always be like that” looks. There is no such thing a a perfect child or a perfect parent – and if anyone says otherwise they would be dellusional. Rejoice in the good time you had – forget about the last bit !!! xx

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