Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

How to Plan and Host a Perfect Child’s Party.

on September 10, 2014

There is so much pressure these days for children’s parties to be all singing, all dancing, bank breaking, stress causing nightmares.
Because I like to think of myself as a helpful soul, I have put together a handy list of how to plan and host the perfect party.
Get a note pad!

1) Have a broken boiler for the week of the birthday when you will have an absolute house full, loads of dishes and washing.

1b) Make absolutely certain that, when bathing the children round your sisters, the little little slips, flails around like a fish out of water and slits her lip covering both you and her in blood.

2) Ensure that, whilst making the party jellies, the birthday girl falls backwards off her chair, bashes her head on the kitchen island and is beside herself for the remainder of the evening.

2b) Read the NHS guidance and phone a friend to geek up on head injuries and behave like a cat on a hot tin roof for the rest of the night.

3) Do not confirm your cake order.

3b) Momentarily consider making your own.

3c) Change knickers having wet yourself laughing.

3d) Make sure you forget at least one item each time you go to the supermarket and, when you go for the final time, en masse, be careful to make sure that the birthday girl sees all of the shop cakes and selects the only one that you utterly despise.

3c) Pretend that you are a cool, easy going Muma and put the chosen cake in the trolley.

3d) When you arrive at the tills, do a bit of sick in your mouth, sprint back to the cake section and swap for a cake of your choice.
**make sure you behave like a total,neurotic! controlling weirdo.**

If, and only if, you are able to achieve all of the above. There is a chance that, the party will go absolutely swimmingly.
Do not take an iota of credit for this.
It is down to good weather, awesome, clever, well prepared, accommodating friends and plentiful wine.

In my brain now, I will begin planning and preparing for future parties way, way in advance. Why not have a read of this blog on 11th January to see how absolutely nothing has changed!! 🙂

Best of luck with yours.
Loads of love,

Muma.

XxxX

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2 responses to “How to Plan and Host a Perfect Child’s Party.

  1. Sorry, couldn’t help but giggle at this. Especially the total neurotic controlling weirdo bit – my daughter just turned one and I was the same on her birthday! I nearly had a total meltdown over the cake. I have vowed to make an easier cake next year!

    Hope everyone enjoyed the party in the end 😉

  2. jude says:

    Awww, take some credit mumma! This sounds like the ultimate party plan and I will be refering back in December when my little lady turns 2. Or maybe I’ll just gloss over the whole thing in the hope she hasn’t clued on to the idea yet. Yep, that sounds easier. Great post x

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