Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

Why are women so weird?

on June 18, 2014

This evening I have been running.
By running, I clearly mean breathing out of my arse and sweating like a pig whilst dragging myself after Mr L who offers words of encouragement whilst I swear under my breath and ask myself why I am doing it!
It is the same almost every time. Sometimes I get the legendary runners high but, I’ll be honest, it’s not a given.
When I got home I was so red and out of breath I couldn’t talk but, now I’ve inhaled a pizza and three chocolate digestives I’m almost feeling human again.

So, as I delicately nibbled at the biscuits, I was leafing through Facebook and saw one of my friends was talking about the good old self-worth/body image fat/fit/thin debate and I thought you are SO right. What the fuck IS this?

Why is it that beautiful, intelligent, funny, articulate, sexy, interesting, sassy women equate their size and their body shape with the way that they feel. It is weird. AND it is sad.

I posted here about how I want my children to feel about themselves and their bodies, it certainly isn’t the way I feel about mine at the moment.

I thought back to yoga on Monday night. It was quite literally the hardest thing I have ever done. Ever. Including labour and after one of them I had a 3 pint blood transfusion.
Because it was hot yoga (If you haven’t been, go. It is awesome but I realise that the previous sentence may make you doubt my sincerity!) I wore a crop top and, as I was flailing about like an upside down tortoise I caught sight of myself and the teacher in the mirror and I was genuinely really upset at what I saw.
How shallow is that?
Instead of thinking;

  • YEY me. You totally held that pose for around 4 seconds this week.
  • YEY me. You could be sitting at home right now.
  • YEY me. You are getting stronger every week.

I was thinking why the fuck don’t I look like her??

Well, let’s think shall we,

  • This is her job.
  • This her life style and she is hugely passionate and committed.
  • She almost definitely does not eat pizza and chocolate for dinner.
  • (And two mars bars as a little lunch time treat)
  • She hasn’t had 2 children in quick succession and as a result is unlikely to have had a second arse hole ripped for her preventing any meaningful exercise for some time.

I think there is a genuine need for women to rewire their brains. To think of all the things that their bodies DO do.
To think of themselves as more than the shell that they reside in. Basically we need to become Sikh- check this out- it’s an oldie but a goodie;

Sikh Woman Teaches Reddit A Lesson in Tolerance

A Sikh woman’s classy, thoughtful response to a mean-spirited photo of her posted on Reddit has not only warmed the hearts of people around the globe, it has even forced the man who posted the photo to look at his actions and repent.
The original photo posted of Kaur, with the caption “I’m not quite sure what to conclude from this”

sikh womans idea of body image

Kaur’s response:

Hey, guys. This is Balpreet Kaur, the girl from the picture. I actually didn’t know about this until one of my friends told on facebook. If the OP wanted a picture, they could have just asked and I could have smiled 🙂 However, I’m not embarrased or even humiliated by the attention [negative and positve] that this picture is getting because, it’s who I am. Yes, I’m a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women. However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body – it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will. Just as a child doesn’t reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying ‘mine, mine’ and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating a seperateness between ourselves and the divinity within us. By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn’t important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. 🙂 So, if anyone sees me at OSU, please come up and say hello. I appreciate all of the comments here, both positive and less positive because I’ve gotten a better understanding of myself and others from this. Also, the yoga pants are quite comfortable and the Better Together tshirt is actually from Interfaith Youth Core, an organization that focuses on storytelling and engagement between different faiths. 🙂 I hope this explains everything a bit more, and I apologize for causing such confusion and uttering anything that hurt anyone.

That story was published on Mashable in 2012 but it will be incredible forever.
I wish I had a bit of that ladies acceptance. It is incredible. She must have so much space in her brain for important stuff since she filtered out all the rubbish about wrinkles, saggy tummies and cellulite. No bloody wonder she’s got the headspace for a neuroscience and psychology degree!

So, I will carry on running.
And I will carry on avoiding the magazines that remind us every week that we’re not quite up to scratch.
And I will continue to go to yoga.
And I’ll always accept a biscuit or two… Because I actually AM more than the way I look and so are you.

Night.

XxxX

positive body image,

 

 

I am linking up this particularly angry, sweary post with Brilliant Blog Post by Vicky…I hope she doesn’t mind!! You can check out some other BBP’s by clicking the link below.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

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9 responses to “Why are women so weird?

  1. adriacareyperez says:

    I like how you said we that we need to rewire our brains. How do we get wired like this in the first place? And how can we prevent our daughters from this same faulty wiring?!?!?

    • Mumaleary says:

      That’s the million dollar question isn’t it. I guess by ignoring the trash mags who report daily who is too fat, too skinny, too spotty, too made up etc etc. They are my biggest bug bare. The second is to be kinder to our bodies and try to treat ourselves in the way we would our friends or our children. I would never talk to so done in the way my brain talks to me!! Xxx thanks for commenting.

  2. Honest Mum says:

    Just beautiful, this post, Kaur’s response, she makes me want to be a better me. Thank you x

  3. […] Anyway, following my ranty, sweary, hopefully thought provoking, blog of Wednesday evening, I have had loads of lovely comments and feedback so thank you. (If you’ve not read it yet, it’s here). […]

  4. I wish that I love myself like her. I grew up being called names. Ugly, flat nose, dark girl and well ugly again and my sister is the pretty one. These are people who are relatives. Older. the one thats suppose to tell me that I am beautiful as I am. But no. Names. It stuck in my head. They became my reality. How I see myself. Hard to grow up being called that and not feeling inferior. #BrilliantBlogPosts

  5. I really love this post. I agree the hype from the media is insane, although I do also feel that it’s a lot of the cheaper magazines (OK, Heat etc) that are the worst culprits as it’s all about sensationalising everything for them. I’ve never been concerned about my weight or shape, though most people would say that’s because I don’t need to (which is frustrating as hell)! But it’s just because I grew up doing a sport that I loved and I didn’t need to think about keeping fit and healthy. I was brought up to be an active child with a well balanced diet. I’m not a fussy eater, which really helps – but I put that down to my parents no tolerance attitude towards food. We got what we were given and there was no alternative. I believe that this is part is why I’ve never taken an interest in dieting (I always say we’re all on a diet, because a diet is just what we eat!) I don’t do my sports anymore and my incredibly stressful and full on job as a teacher has meant that things have started to slip. I’ve put on weight and started to gain a little bit of a round belly. And I can’t deny that I hate it, because I really do. More than anything though I hate what it symbolises – that I’m not living a healthy lifestyle at the moment. I don’t want to lose any of the weight I’ve put on, I’m not bothered about that, but I do want to tone up, for the sake of being and feeling healthy once again.

    I feel lucky to have grown up with my head screwed on pretty well and to be headstrong and stubborn enough to not fall into these celebrity/media hyped fads and fashions, I’ve always much preferred just being me. I’m just shy of 24 and it is becoming a huge concern for when I have my own kids (especially if it’s a girl) that I can help them to grow up with a similar attitude to my own. I already try my best to keep my precious year 1 kids from going down that road. We had a little boy become upset and lose confidence in himself because he didn’t like his fat cheeks and fat belly (his words – I was shocked to the core that a 5 year old could have such concerns) and it’s really flipping scary!

    • Mumaleary says:

      Thanks for this Rachel- it is minefield isn’t it. So tough to not be obsessive but equally not go too far the other way.
      You can go on and on about it can’t you. So annoying!

  6. Helena says:

    fabulous post and an amazing extract from the woman in the picture. we all absolutely need to learn from her example!

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