With Christmas Eve less than 20 days away no doubt you are wondering what to get your new parent friends for Christmas or perhaps your other half…
which contained such hits as
A Groovy Kind of Love
He ain’t heavy (he’s my brother) and, the excellent
Don’t Worry, be Happy.
Well- what about this for an idea…
Now that’s what I call parenting.
REM -Everybody hurts
This relates to the labour itself and, in later months the unfamiliar pain of having your eye gauged out by a child grabbing onto your face playfully.
Cat Stevens- The first cut is the deepest this clearly relates to the episiotomy. Oh no love- you won’t need one- you’ll just sneeze your baby out…I’m talking about other people.
Aladdin & Jasmin- A Whole New World.
No turning back now…it’s all change. Forever.
Sister Sledge- We are family
Because dudes, that’s what you are now!
Jaundice is more common than you realise people. Don’t sweat it.
The Ramones-Baby I love you.
(Less at 4:45am when you are bawling your head off, but never the less- I love you, OK?)
Bon Jovi- Sleep when I’m dead
You are either awake because your baby won’t sleep or awake wondering why they are so quiet.
How you will now move around the house when your little cherub is resting. You may also take to angry shushing and fingers on lips signs.
Utterly pointless, they will wake as soon as they hear your ass hit the seat.
Arcade Fire- Keep the car running
This relates to a couple of new parent issues…either having to take the baby out in the car to get them to sleep or, having the car running for approx 30minutes while you run in and out of the house getting the serious amount of kit you now need every time you go out!
Pato Banton- Baby come back
For bad parents- this refers to the time they roll off the bed and are sandwiched between a headboard and wall, for better parents it refers to your über advanced child crawling very early and wanting to explore; constantly.
Areosmith- Dude looks like a lady
For moments like this!
The Drifters- There goes my Baby
For when your little one starts crawling, starts nursery and, starts needing you less *sob/sigh*
Breathe Owl Breathe- Swimming (I’d never heard of it either- thank god for Google!)
For occasions like this…
Frank Sinatra- That’s life
Because, unless you live in a fairy land- you will experience situations like this (it can’t just be us- can it?!)
Annie Lennox- Why (why, why, whyyyyyyy)
This refers to you utter feelings of helplessness when your child is crying and you have no freaking clue why!! Not. A. Scooby.
I have trawled the Internet for tracks called
Jesus Christ, give me the drugs
Crayon on the carpet and crackers on the wall
I am a shell of a person. Waaaaaa haaaaaa and
Let me pee alone
But alas could not find them…
What would you have on your playlist?