Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

Now That’s What I Call Parenting…

on December 5, 2013

With Christmas Eve less than 20 days away no doubt you are wondering what to get your new parent friends for Christmas or perhaps your other half…

An integral part of my childhood and teen years was the NOW compilation albums.
I joined the party at NOW (that’s what I call music) 13
20131205-223211.jpg

which contained such hits as
A Groovy Kind of Love
He ain’t heavy (he’s my brother) and, the excellent
Don’t Worry, be Happy.

Well- what about this for an idea…

Now that’s what I call parenting.
Featuring…

REM -Everybody hurts
This relates to the labour itself and, in later months the unfamiliar pain of having your eye gauged out by a child grabbing onto your face playfully.

Cat Stevens- The first cut is the deepest this clearly relates to the episiotomy. Oh no love- you won’t need one- you’ll just sneeze your baby out…I’m talking about other people.

Aladdin & Jasmin- A Whole New World.
No turning back now…it’s all change. Forever.

Sister Sledge- We are family
Because dudes, that’s what you are now!

Coldplay- Yellow
Jaundice is more common than you realise people. Don’t sweat it.

The Ramones-Baby I love you.
(Less at 4:45am when you are bawling your head off, but never the less- I love you, OK?)

Bon Jovi- Sleep when I’m dead
You are either awake because your baby won’t sleep or awake wondering why they are so quiet.

Radiohead- Creep
How you will now move around the house when your little cherub is resting. You may also take to angry shushing and fingers on lips signs.
Absolutely futile.
Utterly pointless, they will wake as soon as they hear your ass hit the seat.

Arcade Fire- Keep the car running
This relates to a couple of new parent issues…either having to take the baby out in the car to get them to sleep or, having the car running for approx 30minutes while you run in and out of the house getting the serious amount of kit you now need every time you go out!

Pato Banton- Baby come back
For bad parents- this refers to the time they roll off the bed and are sandwiched between a headboard and wall, for better parents it refers to your ΓΌber advanced child crawling very early and wanting to explore; constantly.

Areosmith- Dude looks like a lady
For moments like this!

The Drifters- There goes my Baby
For when your little one starts crawling, starts nursery and, starts needing you less *sob/sigh*

Breathe Owl Breathe- Swimming (I’d never heard of it either- thank god for Google!)
For occasions like this…

The Black eyed peas- Shut up just shut up, shut up.
For situations like this…or this.

Frank Sinatra- That’s life
Because, unless you live in a fairy land- you will experience situations like this (it can’t just be us- can it?!)

Annie Lennox- Why (why, why, whyyyyyyy)
This refers to you utter feelings of helplessness when your child is crying and you have no freaking clue why!! Not. A. Scooby.

I have trawled the Internet for tracks called
Jesus Christ, give me the drugs
Crayon on the carpet and crackers on the wall
I am a shell of a person. Waaaaaa haaaaaa and
Let me pee alone
But alas could not find them…

What would you have on your playlist?

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30 responses to “Now That’s What I Call Parenting…

  1. What a difference a day makes – Jamie Callum. My world certainly changed overnight!

  2. I’m So Tired – The Beatles

    I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Anymore – Prince

  3. Cry Baby Cry – The Beatles
    Little Child Running Wild – Curtis Mayfield
    Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe – Barry White
    Rude Boy – Rihanna
    Naughty Girl – Beyonce
    Cry Me A River – Justin Timberlake
    The Drugs Don’t Work – The Verve

  4. Love the list, made me smile πŸ™‚

  5. I was a Now no 1 girl πŸ˜‰ love the way you fitted those in!

  6. Colette B says:

    Genius!

  7. Erin says:

    Hot and Cold (or whatever the song is actually called ) by Katy Perry – it sums up life with a 2 year old pretty well!

  8. Ha ha, funny post. Mine would be Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal x

  9. AtoZ Mummy says:

    Faithless – Insomnia!! Very apt for me at the moment… I can’t get no sleep :/
    Love this post, it really made me giggle!

  10. RossMountney says:

    How about ‘Daydream Believer’by the Monkees! Having my babies was like a dream come true – not that I want to sound all sentimental or anything! But the one that springs to mind that describes the massive life change you go through is The Carnival is Over – by the Seekers! πŸ˜‰

  11. Brilliant post and contributions – made me giggle!

  12. elliec1788 says:

    amazing post! made me laugh so much πŸ˜€

  13. Great post! And yes, my childhood and teen years were all about NOW albums, too!

  14. iotamanhattan says:

    Brilliant post.

    I used to listen to Louis Armstrong “What a Wonderful World” in the small hours as I wandered about with my firstborn, joining in the line “I hear babies crying…”.

  15. notafrumpymum says:

    Great list! Can I add “go away” by Gloria Estefan, for the times when you’ve really had enough!

  16. Maxine says:

    Oh God I loved a good Now compilation in my younger days! My day has actually got the first three on vinyl!
    My song choice – The Long & Winding Road – George Harrison

  17. Maxine says:

    Oops just googled it and realised it was Paul McCartney – My bad. x

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