Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

I’m becoming an actual housewife!

on June 6, 2013


Hey guys and gals (presuming that any blokes are still reading this given last weeks vivid descriptions!)

I am,having an AMAZING week so far….
I have cuddled a naked waiter (lovely guy called Graham-perfect idea for a hen do, birthday party or similar. Sadly I feel it would be inappropriate to use his services for either a naming day or a 2nd birthday) even more sadly due to the whole knicker debacle I had to buy an emergency beastly backup corset type affair (yes people, I am now a customer of Ann Margaret’s, Heswall!) and it is visible in the hen photos. This is principally because it came up sooo high. Basically if my Grandma lived closer I could have borrowed something equally as fetching from her. I could make a cheap gusset joke here but I will refrain because I don’t wish to lower the tone! I even behaved relatively well on the night out. Disappointing.
Chilled out at an amazing spa sipping some fizz whilst looking out on a field of cows.
Spent time with my gorgeous, beautiful, yummy girls swimming (I am getting a new costume this week following a second boob ordeal).
Had my nails done (thanks lovely Lauren), I am living by the rule that your nails, much like your feet, don’t get fat and therefore can nearly always look good. I have become so shallow now that mine are manicured that I basically waste about an hour a day flashing them at myself and am wearing rubber gloves to clean- what have I become???

Anywho, I have had to do some cleaning as the outlaws are en route as I type. I don’t want to advertise the fact that on occasion we reside in more of a hovel than a home so I was on it like a car bonnet yesterday. I even moved the table to mop the floor. (Basically feel like a war hero due to this gargantuan effort).
I have even cooked all meals for the weekend from scratch.
What with the corsetry, the cooking and the cleaning I am basically turning into a quintessential 1950’s housewife (with a potty mouth and poor sense of dress). I heard myself say to the girls yesterday ‘we have to go to the butchers now to get something for daddy’s dinner’ and, I no word of a lie, I secretly really liked it. I think that is because I just choose a couple of bits to be housewifey about and don’t spend my days cleaning, scrubbing and being oppressed. Those bits probably weren’t so great for the Emmeline Pankhurst’s of the time. (Yes yes, for those with an eye for detail I am aware that she was long dead by the 1950’s but you catch my drift no?)

The reason for all of this preparation and planning is because the husband and I are going to London Baby. To see The Stone Bloody Roses. YEY. The outlaws are looking after the girls for a whole 30 hours. Either of these are likely to be topics of next weeks blogs! πŸ˜‰
I have written a thesis on what they do, when they eat, sleep etc etc and I am pretty sure this will be used as fuel for the BBQ as soon as we step on the bus but what can I do!? I have left their red medical books by the door…

So- if anyone wants to suggest possible topics for conversation with my husband they would be most welcome! We have two train journeys to fill plus one heavily hungover morning in a hotel…

In the mean time- cook this. It is absolutely lip smackingly lovely. Especially in this weather. I can’t believe it, I am actually becoming a cook! (Read, now knows how to make three things adequately!)

Off to Bootcamp this eve, saving the calories for the weekend! Can’t wait.

See you next time. Have a wonderful weekend all.



4 responses to “I’m becoming an actual housewife!

  1. Bumble says:

    Can he come to the bounce and rhyme class???? he would make it much more fun!

  2. Ooh this looks yummy πŸ™‚ Thanks so much for linking up via #GoldenOldies

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