Having had two children, I have spent the last 3 years being subjected to the never ending conversations about being pregnant, childbirth and raising children, from absolute strangers, it doesn’t help that I am now a regular on the bus and, as I have a double buggy I am basically like a celebrity. I mostly don’t mind at all. It is really lovely that people want to compliment me on the girls and take an interest but it is the same conversation all the time and I am far too lovely and polite to shout BORE OFF at the top of my voice.
Perhaps I am inadvertently wearing a sign that says;
Please talk to me.
I am more than interested in how long you were ‘trying’, how sick you were during pregnancy, how tough your labour was and anything else that you want to get off your chest.
No no. DO go on, I am genuinely interested in what pregnancy was like in the 1900’s.
I have ordered a tee shirt that says:
No (they’re not twins)
Yes (they are close in age)
Yes (we do hope they’ll be close when they grow up)
Yes (it is a big pram)
No (its not a Silver Cross)
Blah blah blah blah blah…..
I do not yet know how to put either a bored face or a wry smile on a tee shirt but when I figure that out they’ll be on there too.
It is going to have to be a pretty massive tee shirt but that currently doesn’t pose a problem!!
Here are my top 5 of stupid things that people have said to me…
1) You really are massive aren’t you. We’re you quite big before hand?
I’m not going to lie, I WAS massive. Like a tank. I had polyhydramnios so I’m not just saying it for effect but still!
Obviously, after that I was on top of the world. Popped to Millets in my lunch hour and bought a tent to wear.
2) Randomer also on the 471 (different trip though!) Um, your daughters got a really gammy eye”.
WOW- thanks for that beautiful. Where were you when they were handing out tact?!
PS- you need to get your brows waxed. Pronto.
3) Another randomer on the bus (perhaps we should become a 2 car family) Gosh- they’re close in age. Was she an accident?
OMG are you kidding me.
4) Middle aged lady in West Kirby pointing at baby B in the sling; ‘She’s not starving is she’.
I’m sorry WHAT?!
Um no twiggy she’s not. Funny that, I was just about to amble over and say exactly the same thing to you except I realised that
A) I don’t know you and
B) I’m not that freaking rude.
But the question that I find more annoying than any of those is this:
5) Is she good?
4 people asked me that today. 4. And for some reason, it really, really pisses me off.
What do you mean is she good?
Well, since I’m not a Catholic and I don’t believe in the premiss of original sin, I suppose, yes she IS good. I have never spied her stealing or attempting arson. There has been some ABH but that mainly relates to scratching and gripping me when she is feeding so I’m going to let that go.
But, that isn’t what they mean is it. It is a loaded question about whether she sleeps, whether she cries whether she is hitting milestones etc etc etc. Annoying. (Am I possibly being a little over sensitive here?!)
So, here is my answer.
She is good at being awake.
She is great at letting me know when she is unhappy.
She is excellent at bringing up milk. Everywhere. All the time.
She excels at knowing when I’ve just reached the bed again and was about to hop back in for some shut eye.
But mostly she is good at being her and I totally love her so naf off with your ‘is she good’. She is absolutely perfect. 🙂
Love Muma Leary.
PS- I was perfectly happy to answer this question with baby A!!! Ha ha, not so smug now am I!
PPS- Maud from the 472 had dreadful piles right through both of her pregnancies. Horrendous they were. She has never been quite the same ‘down there’ since. Even though Bill- the youngest, is now in his 40’s. Tricky delivery to be honest and it left everything quite loose.
Wowzers- thanks for that Maud. Wasn’t prepared for that when I nipped into Heswall today!!