Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

That sinking feeling.

on April 21, 2013


So, as I mentioned yesterday, we took the girls for their first Puddleducks swimming lessons yesterday.
It pretty much took over our whole day, in future we will be tag teaming it.

The lessons are held in a school in Moreton. The last time I went to Moreton it was to do my GCSE Geography fieldwork and I have to say, it hasn’t changed a lot in the intervening decade. Debonair Dogs was a highlight of the high street!!
Oh, also, if you know the butchers in Moreton, tell them that they can’t spell buffet properly.

Mr L and baby A took the first session and it went pretty well to be honest. There was one genuinely yummy mummy there- in a bikini/tankini but the rest of the parents looked pretty normal and the class went without a hitch until it is over and I sit baby A on my lap to dry her and get her dressed after the class. The picture at the top shows how I left the class.
I am such a muppet.
Drove home, the girls had a sleep and then it was my turn.

Changed into my swimming costume at home and caught sight of myself in the mirror.
Did a little bit of sick in my mouth at the sight before me and felt very sorry for my husband. Imagine if you will an off white body stocking filled with porridge. The vision was not helped by the fact that my costume has a frill. A FRILL. FFS. What was I thinking?! I am not 100.
Half way to swimming I remembered that baby B’s costume is still on the changing mat at home so we had to go home and get it. Oops.

Arrive just in time for the lesson to start. There is only one other person in the class and it is a dad so no need to feel so mortally ashamed of my toenails that look like they need some serious ‘curanail’ action. (In actual fact, I was just too lazy to have my shellac soaked off so I picked it off and my nails are now wrecked- I know, I am gross).
Baby B starts bawling her head off about 3 minutes into the class and, as there is just me and the dad, there is no possible confusion over whose child is making the racket.
The teacher is really calm and kind and shows me a position which might make her calmer. This is her facing me with her feet on my tummy. Works like a dream and she is very chilled and happy. Meanwhile, the other baby starts crying. Ha ha, don’t feel so smug now do we. Control your child please, we are in the zone over here.
Baby b wriggles about a bit and I look down to see both boobs out and on display. Cracked nips and all. MORTIFIED. I have to ask teach to hold baba so I can rearrange myself.

Mr L is told off for taking pictures.

Only 11 sessions to go. I think I might have to return in a disguise!

Have a good week all. πŸ™‚

15 responses to “That sinking feeling.

  1. Emily says:

    This made me laugh out loud! I also had to read it to Neil so he understood my belly laugh….brilliant. xxxx


  2. Mumaleary says:

    Thanks Harris. I asked Mr L if he’d shared the blog and he said he hadn’t due to shame!! Xxxx


  3. Rachel Marr says:

    funny that πŸ˜‰


  4. […] That’s all folks, we are off swimming shortly. I am hoping that it works out better than my previous experiences…nervous!! […]


  5. […] Breathe Owl Breathe- Swimming (I’d never heard of it either- thank god for Google!) For occasions like this… […]


  6. […] far easier for me to pretend I can recall what I was doing month to month. April was mainly the whole swimming incident- […]


  7. […] The one about the boobs […]


  8. Made me smile. And feel better about not realising I had my jumper on back-to-front until 11am this morning!#Brillblogposts.


  9. Le Coin de Mel says:

    You made me laugh… a lot! Are you sure you are going back? Mel #brilliantblogposts


  10. Honest Mum says:

    Brilliant, so funny! Poor you! Hope next week’s lesson goes better. Thanks for linking up to #brillblogposts please add my badge or link back


  11. […] Breathe Owl Breathe- Swimming (I’d never heard of it either- thank god for Google!) For occasions like this… […]


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