Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

Simmering rage…

on November 14, 2013

I know that I’m a bit late to the party here what with #blogfest being last Saturday and all but, for all of those I met there, I needed to get this off my chest.

I’m a woman.
I’m a mother.
I’m a wife.
I’m a friend and a sister and a daughter and finally-
I’m a feminist.

My mind is absolutely blown by the question at Blogfest:


‘Can you be a mummy blogger and a feminist?’

I am an intelligent woman (according to myself) and I genuinely do not understand the question.

Of course you can be a mummy blogger and a feminist.
I am one of them.

At blogfest there were approximately 400 others.

I have documented my understanding of being a feminist on here before but just to recap;

I think that all people were created equal so you should neither think yourself better or worse than anyone else.
This is very tricky and if I’m perfectly honest I do both almost daily. I can’t help it. I could probably try harder.

I think that if in doubt simply return to the old adage of do unto others how you’d like done to you.
(I’ve literally just done that- moved seats for a person on the train. A man! Would you credit it.)

Some people are just fools.
This isn’t because they are men or women.
It is because they are fools. Obviously that is an over simplification, they will have a back story to why they believe the things that they do but that doesn’t mean that you need to lie down and take it.

I was totally weirded out by the idea that the word Mummy is deemed to be derogatory. I absolutely LOVE hearing my girls call me Muma. Being a mum is massively important to me and you’d be pretty hard pressed to make me feel bad or like I’m letting woman kind down for setting at home to care for my kids.
Bore off. It’s my choice, supported by my family.
If it’s not for you, you are welcome to make your own decision and do your own thing but don’t suggest that my choice is forcing the rest of womankind back into the kitchen against their will.
I do realise that I am lucky to have that choice. I’m grateful but unapologetic.

To sum up I will turn to Eleanor Roosevelt who said;

20131114-232417.jpg

So, If you think you’re not being treated fairly. Challenge it.
If you think someone else isn’t being treated fairly challenge it.
Be kind.
And read this

It ain’t rocket science people.

I bet it is this kind of attitude that is making my toddler shout NO WAY in relation to anything at all at the moment but, that’s the price you pay for wanting your kids to have a brain, a voice and an opinion.
I should have made it clear to her that the opinion I want her to have is mine!!! ;-) kidding people. Don’t be all angry pants about it!

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14 responses to “Simmering rage…

  1. I absolutely agree. Nobody is better than you, and nobody is worse than you. I didn’t go to Blogfest, but I watched the video and read about it – I was shocked that the question was even up for debate. I consider myself a feminist and a mummy blogger – I couldn’t quite get my head around the panel trying to tell a room full of mummy bloggers that they were somehow inferior because they considered themselves ‘just’ mummies.
    Great post x

  2. the whole point of feminism is to allow us to do what we want and not kowtow to expectations

  3. Hurnae says:

    Isn’t the whole idea of feminism is that we have our own minds and ideals. Do what we want because we want to do it. I don’t get what being a mummy has got to do with feminism anyway. Surely gestation is the most natural thing to happen to a woman. xx

  4. Eeh Bah Mum says:

    Glad you got that off your chest and so beautifully put. I love the phrase ‘bore off’ makes me laugh every time. xx

  5. Ooh off to watch the video!

  6. Brilliant post! Very well put – I’ve seen the post blogfest debate/anger and I still can’t quite believe that the question was asked in the first place! As an Engineer, I am more than aware of the potential for inequality in life/work :) I don’t believe I am ‘just’ anything, and certainly not just a mum now that I have chosen to take some time out and be one :) The whole point is our ability/right to choose the roles that we take on… Anyway, this is turning into a post, so again, very well put! #MBPW

    • Mumaleary says:

      Well thank you very much. :-)
      It has certainly caused much comment so I guess Mumsnet will feel that it is a job done.
      As long as it has given people a reminder that they have their own choices I guess there is a positive.
      Thanks for reading. :-)

  7. Kate says:

    Agreed, no one should be judged for their choices! We all do what is best for us and our family at the time, you’re no less a feminist no matter what you choose to do, whether that’s stay at home, work or study. Its always good to debate and give issues like this airtime, but I’m also sad that Mumsnet chose a deliberately provocative question which caused so much argument just to get more people talking about blogfest.

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