Mumaleary's Blog

Cheaper than therapy

Dear Kate.

on July 23, 2013

I am genuinely thrilled to hear the news that Kate (I can’t get involved in calling her Catherine I’m sorry- I hope you don’t mind) has given birth to a beautiful baby boy.
I say beautiful, despite the fact that I have yet to have my invite to the Lindo Wing to meet the future monarch in person, because ALL babies are beautiful- sometimes only in the eyes of their parents but never the less, beautiful.

I am less interested however in the utter tripe being spoken and written by the media. On the radio last night a presenter described Prince Charles as

‘The happiest new grandfather in the Country’.

Now I don’t want to clamber up onto my soap box over this but- I imagine, that had there been any other new grandfathers listening, they would have been somewhat disgruntled to hear that their grandchild was slightly less good and making them slightly less happy than William and Kate’s baby is making Charles.
Absolute Rubbish.

The press are going mad for it. Totally.

Today I have also had the pleasure of learning, without even trying, the gynaecological history of Camilla. Yep. Camilla. No blood relation to the bambino but the press has seen fit to inform me that the main man at the business end of yesterday’s delivery has also had the pleasure of checking out the mistresses muff and The Queens quim prior to overseeing Kate’s delivery. Ergh.

TOO MUCH. TOO MUCH.

I know that we are all interested, I know that most people simply want to know all is well and wish the new family all the very best. But seriously, lets give them a break.

Becoming a mum is amazing, bewildering, life changing, life affirming, mind boggling, heart melting and body breaking.

I imagine it can only become harder when done in the public eye with such intense scrutiny.

When there is a sweepstake on the name, breast or bottle, type of pram, Gina (Ford)’or Tracy (Hogg) you know that privacy could be hard to come by.

Being born into the Royal family does not, contrary to popular belief, make you more loved or more lucky. It means that, as with every other child that has ever been born, you are born into a life not of your choosing and the various highs and lows that it entails. I hope that he will be equipped to deal with whatever life throws at him with grace and good humour.

Kate and William seem like a really lovely couple, down to earth and pretty normal. I like to think that they recognise that their baby is just as loved, just as precious, just as special and unique as every other baby.
We don’t need to worry about their baby being loved too much- there is no such thing. What we really need to remember on occasions such as this are the babies that aren’t loved enough.

I am taking a leaf out of Princess Anne’s book who said when asked…

It’s none of my business of course but it is wonderful news.

(I love Princes Royal almost as much as I love Claire Balding).

But, if you are interested Kate- here are my top five things every new mum needs to know:

1) Day 4 is tricky- once you know this it automatically becomes less tricky. This is usually the day when the euphoria is beginning to wain, you are shattered, aching and your boobs are full to bursting.
Approach this day with: plenty of Muslins, plenty of tissues, plenty of chocolate and very, very few visitors. (ie none aside from your ma)

2) Get some Bio Oil. This will do two things- one, it will make you believe you will have time for a bath and also time to moisturise post bath (PMA is a very important thing!)
It will also reduce the appearance of stretch marks like an absolute dream. I love it.

3) Your baby is quite simply THE best that the world has ever seen. Fact.

4) You can never have enough breast pads or properly heavy, heavy duty sanitary pads. I know you think you can but you are wrong. Also, just incase, don’t exit the hospital in a grey top. It makes leakage very obvious and embarrassing. Even if you aren’t famous.

5) If you bottle feed or mixed feed or struggle to feed you are normal. Don’t give up and don’t feel like you’re a failure. You aren’t.

6) This is an extra- if you are worried you aren’t doing it right, you aren’t good enough, people,are judging you and you are coming up short, don’t worry. You are normal. You are trying your best and that is enough.

Best of luck.

Massive congratulations.

Lots of Love.

XxxxX

PS- I promise I won’t write about you anymore because you need a bit of time to yourselves.


7 responses to “Dear Kate.

  1. twinny says:

    Sums it all up very well twinny!! :)

  2. Liz says:

    The bit about the dude who is the official ‘Master of the Royal Business End’, was very funny; de-caff coffee came out of my nose. I can’t think of anything worse than having to look half decent in front of cameras whilst stinging (‘wince’) sweating, aching, and feeling like you might pass out if
    you don’t sit down. Didn’t she do well?! x

    • Mumaleary says:

      Exceptionally well. I saw her biting her lip and really felt for her. Also, I really appreciated the fact that they said any new parents would know the feeling. I love them.

  3. Eddie Harper says:

    Blooming Aida!!!!! You poor darlings really suffer don’t you. I missed the births of my first two due to service exigencies, I was RAF Polis, but was a civvie and at the birth of my third child, a beautiful wee girl. I was comforting my then wife, as best I could during her labour and when the head breached she sank her teeth into my cheek and dug her nails into the palm of my hand and called me, I think on the lines of a bar steward. No wonder eh? I now have four grandkids and had to wait to number four for my first grandaughter, but she was well worth the wait. Yeah, they’re all beautiful but even better cause you can hand them to mum and dad when you get knackered.

  4. […] saw me publish my 2 most read posts of the year; one about the Lovely Kate and the other about stupid OK magazine . We also found out just how lucky we are to have the NHS […]

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